Embrace the unknowing and see what there is to learn

When was the last time you admitted that you didn't have an answer, that you uttered the words, “I don't know?” I suppose I am pondering this, in part, because I am editing this column on the eve of my birthday and the 15th anniversary of my ordination. Yes, they were on the same day! While not one of those designated “BIG birthdays” that often sends us almost over the edge, the passage of time is a cause for reflection. And the fact that I have been an ordained Interfaith Minister for 15 years, well, seems both impossible and miraculous at the same time. (Cue the big sigh!)

But, I am not alone in these musings. In our ever demanding world, it often seems like a weakness or a failure to let those words – “I don't know” – fly out of our mouths like a thought being released from the confessional – unintended, deeply intimate and oh, so unforgiving.

But, here's a radical thought: What if we embraced our unknowing, entered into the reality of the Beginner's Mind (that we so often read about!) and turned this embarrassment and frustration into a virtue? What if we really experienced our lack of knowing as true humility in action that serves as a launch pad for growth? What if?

What has its beginnings lodged in the fear of failure can, lovingly, bring openness, wonder and grace to life. Healthy self-doubt can spur us forward, humbly and honestly seeking. Searching for answers from a Source greater than the self as well as from others who have, perhaps, experienced untold discoveries.

Most spiritual leaders experienced doubt and even fear before having both of those feelings transformed into wonder and mystery. In both the Old and the New Testaments, “Be not afraid” and “Fear not” are spoken over 300 times! Apparently, previous generations needed reminders just as much as we do! The Quran offers these words approximately 70 times. Apparently, as humans, we are a remedial species.

The benefits of a humble Beginner's Mind seem to be of unimaginable proportion. It keeps us grounded, it keeps us engaged, it makes space for wonder and it transforms weakness into strength.

There is much to be learned, uncovered and experienced on this planet, especially during the more relaxed pace of the summer months. So, perhaps, entry into the core of this new season with a true Beginner's Mind might be just what we need in a world that presupposes we have all the answers. After all, what I knew before this birthday is not what I know now and what I thought I knew in seminary has been upended and expanded beyond measure. So, happy exploring and, if it is your birthday month as well, have some cake!!

The Reverend Dr. Deborah Darlington delightfully and humbly accompanies seekers of all spiritual paths of learning and celebrates their rites of passage with ritual and coaching. She can be reached at GraceMatters@TheSpaceForGrace.com, and she suggests cake for any special occasion!