Travel through discomfort to get to spiritual growth

How comfortable are you with discomfort? This profound question – often ignored – was a part of my Chaplaincy training. Of course, if I am being honest, it had also been asked during my seminary years as well as in my academic studies in both Spiritual Psychology and Holistic Theology. But it was in Chaplaincy that it caught up with me. Honestly, I'd rather have just put the question away – again! – and gone shoe shopping.

However, discomfort is, often, the most fertile ground for growth, as long as we tend it with the right care, dig deeply and face the disconcerting details of that growth.

Many faith traditions describe a time of spiritual dryness coupled with great discomfort as time in “the desert.” I suspect that we have all traveled there at one time or another and, in spite of that great pair of sandals, the hot sand scorches our feet right to the bone. Darned uncomfortable!

At times like this, we want to run away, to hide, to ignore or to listen to the untruths and old stories we tell ourselves. Sooner or later we realize that sitting in this desert and actively reflecting is an opportunity for reconnection and resolve. It is an active space, not a passive one.

The loneliness, brokenness or black cloud that envelops us can be caused by something very real and very serious – a health issue, divorce, loss of job, or, in today's world, simply too much exposure to the news. None of this is easy. And, to be clear, we don't set our GPS towards the desert, put on our hiking shoes and set off. No, this dry, arid space usually finds us; it appears at the most inopportune times and cries out – Take those shoes off and sit a while, even if it hurts!

At first glance, this space is empty, with no oasis of relief in sight. We entered into this space to retreat from the world and take refuge in the pain but, instead, we discover a spiritual retreat of profound and meaningful internal encounters between our soul and That Which We Call God. Our Source. It is, at first, an uneasy meeting, until we discover the mercy, compassion and forgiveness that is there in those moments of sacred intimacy. No mask. No pretense. Simply a meeting of our authentic self with The Divine. It is then that we understand. We do not go TO the desert; we go THROUGH it, accompanied by the grace of our Beloved.

To pause, to reflect, to rest in the discomfort while trusting that we will find a way through, if we are willing to do the deep work; if we ask the right questions, if we are willing to challenge ourselves, admit our need for healing and engage in the shedding of the old for the new. We move more freely, more inspired and more engaged in this life with a new strength and purpose. Meeting the holy messiness of life elevates us to a new level of right relationship.

The struggle of the discomfort of the desert is that we know, deep within us, that there will be more to come. Experiencing this difficult space is not a one-off. It is actually rather miraculous that the painful times of this life can propel us into a desert that, when entered into willingly, courageously and knowingly, allows grace to join discomfort as companions on our pilgrimage. We recognize the desert times more easily and, yes, we become comfortable with its discomfort, knowing that the struggles yield great gifts.

So, dear readers and travelers, put on your walking shoes, pack up your sandals and don't forget your comfy slippers for that resting space. I will join you there, in this desert, and we will both learn how to be more comfortable with discomfort. And, occasionally, we will shop for new shoes.

The Reverend Dr. Deborah Darlington serves as a spiritual companion for all spiritual seekers through coaching, retreats and the celebration of life passages. She can be reached at GraceMatters@TheSpaceForGrace.com for all inquiries.